Your Best Yes!
I get asked ALL the time by other wives and mamas…”Lisa, how do you do It all?” And I guess what they mean is, from the outside it may look like I do a lot. I homeschool four kiddos, I was president for our 80+ member Army wife Bible study, PWOC, last year, I run a business and I am an Army Chaplain's wife (a.k.a my husband is gone, a lot). My answer is always, “I don’t do it all” and “I know my strengths.” So here’s where I’d love to encourage you all!
First, no one who has a ton on their plate and is still joyful is doing everything solo, I promise! Those celebrities you may admire on Instagram? They do nothing alone, I swear! So, like many busy, working women, I have learned to delegate!!! For managing our house I had a house cleaner every month or so last year when I was busy in ministry (sadly, she moved...so I need to find someone else!). My kiddos have been well trained and they all have several chores to keep the house running well: my daughter does the wash, my sons empty the trashes, sweep, are in charge of the dog, empty the dishwasher, and do anything else I ask them to do. I do all of the kitchen and food prep and cleaning up. The kids and I all clean the entire house every two weeks...I would love to have it cleaned more, but there’s really no time and it’s cleanish, so in my book, that’s winning. I have started ordering Home Chef several months ago and get three meals prepped and ready to cook, delivered to my doorstep weekly. I have learned I can’t maintain the house alone, and so someday, when my business takes off even more, I’m totally going to have someone clean and meal prep for me weekly! Cleaning and cooking bring me no joy, so I’m happy to pass those duties along when the time comes!
I used to say yes to everything, and everyone because I didn’t want to let anyone down or disappoint anyone. I would get over stressed and overwhelmed when I didn't know how to decipher who or what I should say yes to. Then, I listened to The Best Yes by Lisa TerKeurst probably 12 years ago and it changed my thinking! One of the main premises I remember is if you’re always saying YES to everything people ask you to do, you’re basically stealing ministry and opportunities from people who should be saying yes to those same roles! I realized, I don’t have to be everything to everyone, nor was I created to be the whole body!! God created us to be a part of the body, to work together and when we don’t help one another, the whole body hurts and struggles (I Cor. 12). Learning this simple truth has allowed me to make decisions for years based on:
Do I have time without sacrificing too much from my family and do I have the margin to say yes?
Is this opportunity within my strengths?
Does it have an end? (I can’t commit to more than a year at a time...it’s probably due to my 7 personality !). I’ve learned saying YES to everything and everyone is not honoring to God and does not allow for a joy filled life.
Finally, I know my strengths!! I LOVE personality tests and knowing all about myself so for those of you who know (or care), here’s all about me. For the Myers Briggs personality test I’m an ESTJ, Strength Finders my top 5 strengths are Woo, Positivity, Includer, Harmony and Communication and for the Enneagram I’m a 7. My spiritual gifts are Faith, Helps & Giving. What these test results basically mean...I’m great at working with people, I’m super extroverted, I thrive on having fun and enjoying life, and I want everyone to be included, happy and to know they are loved. I’m great at delegating, I can see the big picture in things and I’m often asked to lead events and groups. Why? Because I’m good at it, so it doesn’t take a lot of work or effort! Since I know my strengths I can now pray about opportunities and say yes to things that are within my giftedness because it doesn’t take a lot of energy to serve in my lane or while using my God given strengths! Plus it’s fun!
So friends, I want to encourage you...figure out how God has created you, what are your strengths and start saying yes to things that allow you to use those!! If you haven’t taken these tests to know how God created you and what your strengths are, it’s time!!!!
